NEED TO BE CLOSE

I pretend that I have relationships with strangers on the train. He stood close to me, his arm brushed against mine, it felt like we were standing in an electric field. He smelled clean and soapy, I imagined being embraced by him, hugged, held. I imagined having my hand squeezed by him.  I closed my eyes and wondered how you would look at me if I was your girlfriend, if you were in love with me, if you thought the world of me. I wondered how our lips would feel, what it would feel like to be naked with you.  At the next stop you hurried off the train and vanished into the morning buzz.