RAIN TO RINSE OUT MY HEAD AND CLEAN MY HEART

Julie Deply

PLEASE PUT ON YOUR SHOES,

Come here...

And lend me a hand

your hand

HUSSSH

I feel like (a)....

a new light
like sugar
like cherry blossoms in summer night time

like thin paper hearts
like porcelain 
like honeysuckle (dew)
like giraffe crayons
like warm chocolate cookies
like a rainbow
like red painted toe nails
like the sun's reflection
like wet puppy nose

LITTLE TEA POT

When I was in my teens my mom gave me a small tea pot in light blue.

She said that it was for me to bring with me, when I moved to my own place someday. 

My first tea pot.

It's been years.

It is when I go "home" that I bring out my tea pot.

My first tea pot belongs to a time before 'my own life'. It is nice that is stands on the shelf every time I return.

KVIDEWIT

I was listening closely to what the birds were singing this morning outside my window (my guess was 'Why oh why?" because the snow was once again falling).

My mom always used to call me her little bird, she said I had bird shoulders. 

Once when I was in a bad place she said I was a little bird with broken wings.

When things got better I remember thinking I felt like a hawk, like an eagle rising.

The mint green mushroom with a white hat above is my mom's home for the birds.

LIGHT BULB OR LIGHTBULB?

I can't reach to change the light bulb/lightbulb in my hallway. I don't have a chair. 

- I can't see what's in the cubers (guess it will have to be a suprise each day to see what shirt I get to wear)

+ Saving energy

Next obsession -- to cut things apart.

LIFE MACHINE

I am in serious need of intimacy 

NEW TREASURES

I am proud to say I believe myself this time, that I have gotten past the past - that the past is truly in the past, and no longer interfering with the present.

Old hurt, old love and even old joy - I don't want you anymore.

No more dwelling,

blank sheet,

over over over

over over

over

I want it to be over

I am finally free, and so are you

I do not want to go back,

it wouldn't and will never be any different

I can not keep trying to make the past life present again

It is a repetition -- unhealthy, and frankly it is getting old and fucking boring

I want to write a new chapter

perhaps even a new book

Thank you for what you gave

for me to put in my backpack

I will carry it with me

when I go, to find new

treasures

I hope you find them too

JUST ANOTHER QUOTE

"Well maybe you should just drink a lot less coffee
and never ever watch the ten o'clock news
maybe you should kiss someone nice
or lick a rock, or both

maybe you should cut your own hair
cause that can be so funny
it doesn't cost any money
and it always grows back,
hair grows even after you're dead and

people are just people
they shouldn't make you nervous
the world is everlasting, it's coming and it's going
if you don't toss your plastic
the street won't be so plastic
and if you kiss somebody then both of you'll get practice
the world is everlasting
put dirtballs in your pocket
put dirtballs in your pocket and take off both your shoes
cause people are just people
people are just people
people are just people like you"

Regina Spektor - Ghost of corporate future

JUST A QUOTE

"Now I've been sitting on this abandoned beach for years
Waiting for the salty water to cover up my ears
But every time the tide come in to take me home
I get scared, now I'm sitting here alone dreaming of the dolphin song"

Regina Spektor - Folding chair

MISS CASTRO IN SOUTH OF FRANCE

This lady made me get skype.

CIRCLES

When someone draws invisible circles and lines in the palm of my hand and down on the wrist with their finger...

CHANGING MY PATTERN

You find the pattern, you see it, and you change it. You can only change your life and/or yourself once you see the pattern - your life pattern, you will need to change habits, the lifestyle that you lead and perhaps people. 

Self destructive pattern -- remove what makes you repeat your actions (you can not remove yourself), remove what externally limits and keeps you.

DON'T WANT TO THINK

I want to lay my body on a field of green with a book, a cigarette and a cup of tea, I want to lay on my back with arms spread out -- all the room in the world

I would watch the shadows on the ground of the traveling clouds above in the gentle breeze -- like fingertips on shoulder blades

NEED TO BE CLOSE

I pretend that I have relationships with strangers on the train. He stood close to me, his arm brushed against mine, it felt like we were standing in an electric field. He smelled clean and soapy, I imagined being embraced by him, hugged, held. I imagined having my hand squeezed by him.  I closed my eyes and wondered how you would look at me if I was your girlfriend, if you were in love with me, if you thought the world of me. I wondered how our lips would feel, what it would feel like to be naked with you.  At the next stop you hurried off the train and vanished into the morning buzz.

CAN'T WALK BACK

My darling, I am happy to say this love affair is over

BEAUTIFUL WOMAN

WAX TAILOR

Cried all night. Woke up feeling like an empty rain cloud. My heart hurts, I feel sad, I feel betrayed, I feel guilty.

I haven't been able to sleep much lately. I keep waking up in the middle of the night and have trouble going back to sleep, and when I do sleep I feel I sleep so lightly I can even find myself thinking "I am not really asleep", then I wake up around five or six in the morning and begin another panda eyed day.

To have a reputation, all those insecurities, knowing the right people, "being someone", wearing "the right things". I was not good enough to keep as a friend, and neither are you (based on the above).

"Lazy self indulgent girl who is driving herself crazy".

Master at doing something (everything), for nothing.