Ruined would describe how I feel most days now. I think I have gotten more pale lately, if that's possible. I have so much to tell, but no power to talk. Two weeks ago I felt so happy and I can't even smile now, I walk in a haze, I just want to drink wine and watch films.
I keep dreaming about the hospital, about how that's the one time when I actually felt like I fit in. Sad. Is it sad that I write it here? You know what, it doesn't matter, really it doesn't, the few I love will love me back despite all of that. I love you, and love not feeling like I have to impress or prove anything, because I know.
The lights just died in my bathroom.
